


Space Kitties

by GoldsJRZGirl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Humor, Parody, Princes & Princesses, Romance, Space Battles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 01:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15697512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldsJRZGirl/pseuds/GoldsJRZGirl
Summary: A distress call delivered by Han Solo causes Loki, his fiancé, and his lokitty children to travel to a galaxy far far away to rescue the Snow Princess. MCU AU, Star Wars parody.





	Space Kitties

**Space Kitties**

**(A Snow Princess Tale)**

**By Mythwriter**

_A home on Midgard:_

I had just finished putting away the leftovers from our dinner tonight, which was bourbon glazed salmon, garlic string beans, rice pilaf with pignoli nuts, and some fresh buttered yeast rolls. I had just set out the plate of Mexican chocolate brownies for Loki, our three lokitties, and me to eat with coffee and milk when the distress beeper went off in the bedroom.

I looked over at my fiancé. “Loki, the distress beeper,” I began.

“Stay there, I’ll get it,” the ebony-haired god ordered and rose from his chair.

My eyes followed his lean devastatingly handsome self as he walked past me into the bedroom. I couldn’t help myself. I was like a magnet drawn to a lodestone.

“Aww, Mom!” groaned Brenna, my eldest lokitty daughter. “Can you not stare at Father for one evening?”

“But she loves him!” her sister, Princess Astra said dreamily. She was more accepting of PDA’s than Brenna, who thought we should confine ourselves to holding hands and that was it. Go figure!

“It is natural for a female to admire a male’s physique,” interrupted their brother, Frostkitty Prince Boreal. He was the more mature of the three.

“Gag me with a spoon!” Brenna groaned, sounding like she hacked up a hairball.

“Why would I want to choke you with a spoon, sister?” Astra asked, puzzled.

“I believe she means Mom and Father’s displays of affection disgust her,” Boreal clarified.

“They do!” Brenna sniffed, clinking her helmet against her saucer of milk.

“Oh hush and eat your brownies,” I ordered, rolling my eyes. I would put up with much from my mischievous trio but not being told how I should act in my home with my divine lover, who had chosen to protect me and then later fell in love with me when I used my magical pen to rewrite the endings of all the stories of all the aspects of Loki there were, freeing him from torture, death, slavery and any other unpleasant thing ever written about my beloved God of Mischief. In return I had asked for one thing, for him to stay with me. He had agreed and now, a year later, we were still together, with assorted aspects of himself and his children living with me in my house. I was quite happy to share my large home with them, they made my life fun and interesting. Loki had nicknamed me Mythwriter, and he often called me that rather than my true name.

Prince Loki returned, a concerned expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“That call was from Han,” he replied, his emerald eyes troubled.

“Han?” I repeated. “As in Han _Solo?”_

“No the Chinese Emperor,” he drawled teasingly.

“Loki!” I put my hands on my hips.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist that,” he grinned. I felt my insides melt. “Yes, Han Solo of the Millennium Falcon.”

I felt my stomach do a dip to the right. “What did he want?”

“We know Han!” Astra chimed in. “Boreal and I took a ride in his ship.”

“Yes, we know,” their father said. “Han wanted to tell me that he’s picked up a signal from a nearby asteroid, one that was supposed to have no life on it. The signal was for me, and Han intercepted it.”

“WHAT DID IT SAY?!” all three lokitties meowed.

“It said, _Help me Prince Loki. You’re my only hope._ It kept repeating that, and then there was an image—of a glorious frost white cat with a beautiful white gold an sapphire jeweled tiara.”

Astra gasped. “A Snow Princess! Is she another daughter of yours, Father?”

Loki shook his head. “No, darling. I know all my children, both cat and otherwise. She is not of my blood. But she could be Freya’s daughter. Freya loves cats too and often takes the shape of one and a pair of magical ones draw her chariot.”

“Does it matter?” I queried. “She obviously needs our help.”

“Yes, I know that, Mythwriter.” My prince agreed. 

“Then what are we waiting for?” Brenna demanded with an excited yowl. “Let’s help her!”

 

_An hour later_

_On board the Millennium Falcon:_

I sat back in my seat just behind Chewie and next to Loki, with Boreal in my lap and tried not to yawn. I knew I shouldn’t be tired, not when I was actually going on a real adventure instead of writing about one, but I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. Plus there wasn’t much happening at the moment.  Han was flying the ship to the asteroid, Chewie was watching the monitors with Astra on his shoulder, and Brenna was in the galley checking out the food supplies. At least I hoped it was only that and not _eating_ the food supplies. I had my magical pen tucked in the pocket of my green Loki jacket, the pen was my only weapon, but it could change whole worlds, which was why Loki had never told any of his warlike family except for Thor about me, for fear they would kidnap me and make me use my pen for selfish or evil purposes. The pen looked like an ordinary black ballpoint with a Pop Loki pen topper, but when I picked it up its magic enabled me to rewrite reality as it pertained to any aspect of Loki. The pen was clipped to a green shimmery notebook with a heart and the words I Love Loki inside it.

“Mom, are you tired?” Boreal inquired, purring in my ear.

“A little.” I admitted.

“Why don’t you take a nap, love?” Loki suggested. “We aren’t going to arrive at the asteroid for another hour and a half.”

“But I don’t want to miss anything.”

“I’ll wake you if something interesting happens,” Loki promised.

With a yawn, I shut my eyes, Boreal’s purring and Loki’s hand holding mine serving to send me off into dreamland.

I wake to Loki’s hand shaking my shoulder. “Wake up, hon. We’re here.”

I rub the sleep from my eyes and peer out the window. The asteroid is a dull brown rock filled with odd nooks and crannies, like a sponge. “Loki? Can we breathe out there? Or do we need space suits?”

“No. You can breathe on this planetoid,” Han reassured me. “This is where your little space kitty is.”

The bay doors to the Falcon opened and we processed down the ramp. Loki led, followed by Han, I was next with Boreal on my shoulder, Astra was perched on Chewie, and Brenna brought up the rear, licking her lips.

“Sister, why do I smell tuna on your breath?” Astra asked.

“Well . . . I may have had a little snack when we were flying here,” Brenna admitted guiltily.

“You had tuna and didn’t tell us?” yowled Astra angrily.

“You were busy,” sniffed the lokitty. “And brother there was snoozing on Mythwriter.”

“How much did you eat?” I asked.

“Umm . . .” Brenna said evasively.

“Lokabrenna! How much?” I demanded.

“Six cans,” my daughter replied with a guilty smile.

“That little cat ate _six_ cans of tuna?” Han cried.

“I was hungry!”

“That’s almost my whole stock of tuna,” Han muttered.

I sighed. “We’re sorry. We will reimburse you. I forgot to tell you—never leave a lokitty by food. They eat everything—but especially tuna, tacos, and sweets.”

“ _Now_ she tells me,” grumbled the smuggler.

Chewie roared something in Wookie.

“Laugh it up, fuzzball,” Han scolded. “But I bet you won’t be when you’re eating ship’s biscuit out of a tin.”

“I will conjure more supplies for you before we leave,” Loki told him. He held the beacon cube before him. It glowed white and he followed the light it cast towards a large mountain in the distance.

The air was dry and cool. I breathed it in cautiously, my feet making small puffs of dust as I walked on the asteroid’s surface. The asteroid was firm and yet had a reddish dust that coated the land. It sort of reminded me of the desert.

The mountain loomed like a dark sentinel in front of us, but it must have seemed further away than it was because suddenly we were at the foot of it. Loki’s beacon cube shone upon a hole in the side and he walked into a large cave, the rest of us following.

I almost tripped over a stone I didn’t see under my sneaker.

“Careful, darling,” Loki was suddenly at my elbow, steadying me.

“Sorry,” I flushed. “You know I’m blind in the dusk and shadows.”

“It’s all right,” he soothed. “Just hold on to me.”

I clutched his arm. The last thing I needed was to stumble and sprain my ankle or some other dumb thing. Because that would be just my luck.

Boreal jumped down and raced over to Astra, babbling about stalactites or something like that. He watches the Discovery Channel with Loki.

I looked around, making sure everyone was following. It was then I noticed Brenna was missing.

“Where’s Brenna?”

“Wasn’t she behind you?” Loki asked, stopping.

I could barely see in the dim light but my lokitty son and daughter could see as if it were bright day. “There she is, Mom!” Boreal meowed.

‘Where?”

“Up there!” Astra pointed with her tail. “On that pointed rock!”

“Oh my God! Loki!” I gasped.

Brenna was clinging to a large pointed rock jutting from the ceiling, her green eyes glowing in the darkness. “Hello!”

“Brenna, get down from there!” Loki scolded.

“Aww! But Fa-a-ther!”

“Don’t you ‘but Father’ me! Get down!” Ordered Loki in his most firm tone, the one that made armies obey.

Brenna huffed and licked her shoulder. “O-okay! Don’t have a kitten, Father!”

Then she began to inch down slowly.

“Come on, sister!” Boreal meowed. “You can just jump down. We will be here all night if you move that slowly.”

“Maybe she is scared,” I muttered.

“I am not!” Brenna said indignantly.

“Lokabrenna,” Loki warned.

Sensing her delaying tactic wasn’t working, the helmeted lokitty jumped down . . . and landed upon Han’s shoulder.

“Oh great! I’m allergic to cats,” muttered the smuggler and pretended to sneeze.

“Liar,” Loki snorted.

“It was worth a try,” Han chuckled. He pretended to ignore Brenna but I saw his hand creep up to scratch behind her ears in the good spot. Brenna purred.

I hid a smile. Like Loki, Han pretended to be a tough guy but inside he was a marshmallow. Unless you hurt one of his own. Then he would become a dragon.

“This place smells like dirt,” Astra complained. “My paws are all dirty.”

“Why don’t you cry about it?” Boreal mocked.

“Shut up, brother!” hissed his sister.

“Honestly, what do you expect? Flowers and silk cushions?”

His sister huffed and stalked ahead of him with her nose and tail in the air.

I groaned to myself. Even in outer space, my lokitty offspring managed to quarrel. Like any other day in my house.

Suddenly Loki holds out his hand as the beacon becomes brighter still.

I halt and peer ahead, seeing a large cavern that sparkles with colorful striped rock, almost like an underground rainbow. Sitting in the middle of the cavern on a small shelf of rock is a pure white cat with dazzling ivory fur. She has blue eyes and wears a white gold tiara studded with precious sapphires. She is gorgeous with plush fur that I long to run my hand through, much as I do Loki’s hair.

She jumps to her paws when she sees Loki and the beacon in his hand. “Prince Loki! You received my message! Thank the Norns!”

Loki comes forward, smiling. “Greetings. If I didn’t know better, I would say you are one of my children.” He gestures to the black and gray kitties who have come forward to see this new cat.

“While I would be honored to claim kinship, I am afraid that is not the case,” purred the female. “I am Princess Eira, daughter of the goddess Freya of Love and Beauty.”

“Eira. What a lovely name,” Loki said, smiling at her. ‘What can I do for you?”

Eira comes and sits by Loki’s boot. “Greetings, Prince of Asgard and most powerful Master of Magic and Mischief. I beg your help. I was kidnapped from my home on Jotunheim and held hostage by Dark Elves to make my mother ally with them and help them kill your father and take over Asgard. With the help of some droids sent by Mother, I escaped my cell and portaled here, but my magic is drained and I cannot leave this rock. I need you to help me get off this asteroid and return me to my Mother.”

“That is terrible! Of course Loki and I will help you, Princess Eira,” I spoke up.

“Who is this mortal beside you, Highness?” Eira mewed.

“This is my fiancé, Mythwriter,” Loki introduced me. “She is my heart and she is a powerful skald and sorceress.”

I fought to keep from gaping. I had never considered myself a powerful anything. Loki’s praise warmed me to my toes.

“She is our mother also!” chimed in the lokitties.

“Greetings, Lady Mythwriter.” Eira purred. “And are these your children?”

“They are,” Loki said proudly and introduced them.

“Greetings, fair lady,” Boreal bowed to her. “You remind me of my own love, the most beautiful Freyja.”

“Yeah the one he snuck out of the house for and got in huge trouble for doing so,” Brenna snickered.

“Like you can talk, little sister!” Boreal hissed. “ _You_ are always in trouble!”

“That sounds like the God of Mischief’s daughter all right, laughed Han.

“I am pleased to meet all of you,” purred Eira. “Now can we please get out of here? I am tired of hiding in this cave.”

“Why are you hiding in this cave?” Brenna mewed. “ If you are like us can’t you portal out of here?”

Eira, blushes, her white cheeks going rosy. “I . . . have not mastered that magic yet. Mother was supposed to teach me but then she was busy with Braggi and . . .”

“That’s all right. We can teach you,” offered Astra.

“Or Loki can,” I put in, just imagining the mischief my three kitties would get into teaching Eira how to make portals.

“You are very kind,” Eira said.

“We’d better get moving,” Han urged. “I have a feeling this asteroid was being monitored.”

I bend down and pick up Eira, who is light as thistledown in my arms. I am small compared to Loki and Han, with wild curly dark hair and glasses for I am blind without them. I hold onto Loki’s arm again as we make our way out of the cave. For once our feline offspring follow without detouring for anything.

We emerged from the cave into the semi bright light of the asteroid’s atmosphere and found a welcoming committee.

What looked like twenty Stormtroopers and Dark Elves with blasters and plasma rifles and vibro swords are waiting for us.

Chewie roared in rage.

“I know! I know!” Han yelled. “I should have kept a watch at the entrance!” He drew his blaster.

“Surrender the Princess!” demanded a Storm Trooper.

“Where _is_ the Princess?” asked another.

“If she were up your butt you’d know,” Brenna retorted sassily.

I bit back a laugh. Trust my daughter to come up with a snappy comment at a time like this.

“That must be her!” one pointed at me.

Loki drew a dagger and conjured a fireball in his other hand. “Back off!”

“By the Nine! It’s the Mischief Maker and his cat colony!” brayed a Dark Elf.

“Get the witch with the pen!” shrieked an ugly one with a serrated long knife. “Kill her and Loki will die!”

“Eat cat piss!” Boreal yowled and a portal appeared and sucked the serrated sword wielder into it.

“Vartuk gone!”

“Where’d he go?”

“I sent him I know not where!” growled my son. “No one threatens _my_ mother!”

The Stormtroopers began firing and we ducked back inside. Flares of blaster fire bounced off the walls.

Loki gestured and a glowing shield surrounded me.

“Loki, we’re pinned down!” Han panted, returning fire. “Can you use your magic to get us out of here?”

“I’m doing what I can, Solo!” he called and threw the fireball into the mass of enemies.

They screamed and scattered, but even so they still outnumbered us.

Suddenly it began snowing.

“Brenna, Astra are you doing that?” I called, hating feeling useless behind my shield with Eira in my arms.

“No, Mythwriter!” the sisters meowed. “Not us!”

“What the Hel?” exclaimed a Dark Elf. “This isn’t snow! It’s . . .frost mallows!”

“Marshmallows?” cried a Stormtrooper.

“Children’s candy!” mocked a Dark Elf. “Now I’m really scared, Mischief Maker!”

But somehow I knew this was not Loki’s doing either.

Han picked off two tin can goons.

Then the marshmallow rain stopped and it began raining . . .

“Candy hearts?” yelped a Dark Elf. “Oww! They hurt!”

He danced away from the little candy missiles, which were hearts of all different colors with sayings.

A Stormtrooper picked on off his armor. “I Luv You?” he read.

“You _do_?” gasped his comrade.

“No!”

The lokitties snickered as the candy heart rain continued and reading the sayings on the heart seemed to cause strife within the ranks.

Eira giggled.

Then I knew. “ _You’re doing this_!”

“Of course, Writer of Myths. I am the daughter of the goddess of love and beauty. And there is a fine line between love and hate.”

“Should we make a run for it?” Han demanded.

Loki frowned. “Not unless we can be assured that they won’t shoot Mythwriter and Eira. I’d need to drop my shield for them to run with us. It’s too dangerous.”

“Unless I write you a way out,” I said suddenly, and uncapped my magic pen.

The pen began to glow a greenish silver and then I set it to my notebook. I wrote in glowing green script.

_Team Loki kicks everyone’s butt and gets on the Falcon._

No sooner had the words appeared upon the page then the lokitties, Loki, Han, and Chewie became the ultimate fighting machines and scattered our enemies to the far corners of the galaxy.

“C’mon, darling!” Loki called and the shield vanished. “Let’s get on the Falcon.”

I ran as quickly as I could, with Loki beside me. We made it on board, and I almost collapsed in a panting heap.

“Are you tired?” queried Eira.

“Yeah . . . that and terrified,” I gasped.

Loki guided me to a chair. “Sit, love. And breathe. I don’t want you passing out.”

“Okay, Skytreader.” I leaned my head against his shoulder, my heart still pounding like crazy. His hand carded my hair and gradually I regained my breath, listening to my beloved god’s heartbeat and the purring of the Snow Princess.

Chewie came on board and started up the engines, and Boreal and Astra raced up the ramp.

“Where’s Han and Brenna?” Loki wanted to know.

Then we heard Han shout, “Hurry up, kittycat or you’re gonna become a permanent resident!”

“I have frostmallows stuck in my fur!” Brenna wailed and raced on board.

Han closed the hatch and ran to the pilot’s seat. “Everybody hang on, we’re taking off!”

We all took seats, with the lokitties on our laps.

Brenna grouched because Loki was trying to comb the sticky stuff out of her fur. “Oww! Father, you’re pulling!”

“Hush! Quit moving! How did you get this on you anyway?”

“I wanted to see what it felt like!” his daughter sniffed.

“Norns! Brenna, that was really—” Astra began.

“Dumb!” Boreal finished.

“Enough! Quit fighting,” I ordered.

The Falcon took off and we were flying in space.

“I’m going to hyperdrive!” Han warned. And hit the button.

I waited for the stars to become streaks of light.

Nothing happened.

Chewie growled angrily.

Han slammed his hand down on the control panel. “Stupid hunk of junk!”

The Wookie roared in alarm as several TIE Fighters and some black ships I assumed were Svartalfheim ones gave chase.

“I see them! We’re going to have to try and outmaneuver them.”

“What?” shrieked Astra. “What about the hyperdrive?”

“The hyperdrive coupling is busted,” reported the smuggler. “Without it we can’t use it.”

“Oh no!” cried Eira.

“Loki, can’t you help?”

The God of Mischief sighed. “Hon, I’m a magician, not a mechanic.”

Then I got an idea. I uncapped my pen.

I wrote: _Loki can fix the hyperdrive._

Magic swirled in the air over my beloved.

“There! Now you’re Mr. Goodwrench, dearie!”

He laughed. Then he went in the back to tinker with the hyperdrive unit.

“You sure he knows what he’s doing, sweetheart?” Han wanted to know.

“I’m sure,” I replied confidently.

“You are very handy to have in a tight spot,” Eira praised.

“Thanks,” I said. I was surprised at her comment, for I normally felt useless during these types of adventures as I wasn’t trained on how to do anything except teach kids, cook, bake, and write stories.

There came an odd yell from the back of the ship and it shook.

‘Hey! What’s going on back there?” Han called.

“Get it, Father!” yowled Brenna.

“It ran under here!” Astra pointed out.

“I have it cornered, Father!” Boreal meowed.

“What is it?” I called.

“Gremlin,” Loki answered. There was a scream and hiss.

“Loki?”

“I’m all right. I just threw it out the airlock.” He went back and fixed whatever was wrong with the hyperdrive. “Han! Punch it!”

The ship was rocked by a laser bolt.

Han hit the hyperdrive button and the Falcon exploded into hyperspace. The stars went luminous streaks of light and I almost fell out of my chair.

“Loki, you did it!” Han cheered.

Chewie roared in approval.

“Are we safe now?” asked Eira.

“Yeah until we come out of hyperspace.” Han told her. “Then we need to hope the coast is clear for me to get to the wormhole and return you to your galaxy. But those Dark Elves must want you pretty bad, Princess. They have allied with the Empire to hunt you down.”

“I do not know of this Empire, Master Solo. Only the Dark Elves that kidnapped me and held me hostage for my mother’s good behavior.” Eira mewed.

“Well, Princess Kitty, the Empire’s like your Dark Elves. Big, bad, and ugly. They control a whole bunch of worlds and space fleets and armies. But me and Chewie just want to be free, so we don’t follow the Empire’s rules.”

“You do what you want,’ Brenna stated. “Like Father.”

Han laughed. “Pretty much.”

Loki sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I didn’t fix that hyperdrive all by myself. Mythwriter here gave me the ability to do so. So she deserves half the credit, not just me.”

“Loki, all I did was write a sentence.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, darling. For the pen is mightier than the sword. Or Mjolnir.” He leaned over and kissed me. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“Blech! I feel like throwing up a hairball!” Brenna gagged.

“Why?” meowed Eira. “I think they’re cute!”

“Ugh! You would!” sniffed the lokitty. She stalked over to the window and peered out of it.

“She needs a boyfriend,” Eira said sagely.

Astra and Boreal almost fell over laughing.

Loki nearly choked on his coffee.

“Uh, Eira? I think Brenna isn’t quite ready for that,” I said diplomatically. And neither was I or Loki! Boreal was enough for now.

The Falcon came out of hyperdrive abruptly. The ship shook and we all almost fell out of our seats again.

“God, Loki, this ship needs seatbelts,” I muttered, making the God of Mischief chuckle.

“Why did we come out of hyperspace?” Loki asked.

“Are we there yet?” Astra meowed.

“You’re not allowed to ask that!” Brenna scolded. “Father said so.”

“Something interfered with the continuum,” Han muttered. “Chewie, check to see if there are any hostile—” a shot across the bow caused the ship to shudder.

“What was that?!” I yelped.

“That was the Empire and their friendly neighborhood Dark Elves welcoming us,” Han informed me. “Chewie, put the deflector shields up!”

The Wookie did so, and I saw the viewport that we seemed to be surrounded by sixteen ships.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” I exclaimed, crossing myself.

“I doubt he had anything to do with this, hon,” Loki remarked dryly.

“Loki, get your Asgardian butt up in the gun turret,” Han ordered. “I know you can shoot.”

Loki obeyed, and I bit my nails, my stomach twisting into a knot. Eira purred at me.

The enemy fired at us and we fired back, picking off their ships one by one. Suddenly there was the most horrible odor. I started coughing and gagging.

“What died in the cooling ducts?” Han demanded.

“It smells like dead fish, by Yggradsil’s Roots!” Loki choked.

“Loki, I think I’m going to be sick. I wish we could open a window,” I whimpered.

Chewie whined in distress.

“I don’t care what you smell! Just keep shooting!” Han ordered.

“Brother, did you fart?” Astra demanded.

“No! It wasn’t me!”

“Whoever denied it supplied it,” chanted Brenna.

“Shut up! It was _you!_ ” growled the Frostkitty.

“Yes, don’t deny it, sister,” Astra mewed.

“Whoever smelt it, dealt it,” retorted her lokitty sibling.

“Who cares?” wailed Eira. “Somebody make it go away! It’s stinking up my fur!”

There was a thump. I stared down at the floor which now had a comatose Snow Princess on it.

"Holy hells! Eira fainted!"

Loki waved a hand and suddenly the stench of rotting fish was gone.

I gasped. “Thanks, Loki. Where did it go?”

Then I saw one of the pilots on the enemy ship gagging and then the TIE fighter spun off into space like a throwing star.

Chewie, Loki, and I started laughing.

“Fart power!” sang the lokitties.

“Well, that’s one way to get rid of someone.” Han smiled. Then he blasted another ship from orbit.

I cuddled Eira until she revived. "That was noxious!"

We were still getting pounded on pretty heavily when I noticed it had gotten very quiet. I glanced around. “Loki! The lokitties are gone!”

“Nine Hells!”

At that particular moment, the ship that was firing at us suddenly did a weird dip and roll and went into a tail spin. I could see the ship spinning out of control and then a glowing green light.

The three kitties reappeared on board the Falcon as the enemy ship blew up.

“YES!” they cheered.

“What did you do?”

“We pressed all the buttons on his control panel and covered his eyes,” giggled Brenna.

“Then he screamed,” Astra added.

“Then his ship crashed,” Boreal said smugly.

“Remind me never to let them drive,” Han muttered.

Loki shot down three more ships before Han managed to slip us past them and into the glittering wormhole that led to our galaxy.

The Falcon was spun over and over like a top. I shut my eyes trying desperately to not be sick all over the upholstery.

“Father! Mythwriter is about to blow chunks!” Brenna called.

“Easy. I’ve got you,” a familiar velevt voice whispered in my ear. His hands held me close. “Just relax. I’m going to—”

I never found out what he was going to do because at that moment I threw up.

All over Loki.

“EEWWW!” screamed Eira.

I was mortified. I opened my mouth to apologize just as we came out of the wormhole.

“Gross!” yelled Astra. “Father, you are dripping . . .!”

Loki waved a hand and he was cleaned up and so was the floor. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

“No, it’s not. I threw up on you.”

“Hey, I have had Thor throw up on me after drinking a keg.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“No, you had vertigo. I also had a cat vomit on me. Now _that_ is disgusting,” he soothed. “Here.” He handed me a cup.

“What’s this?”

“Ginger ale.”

“Thanks.” I sipped it slowly.

“Are all mortals so fragile?” sniffed Eira.

“She isn’t fragile, princess,” Loki reprimanded. “She was unprepared for the wormhole. She slept through it last time.”

Compared to Loki I was fragile as thistledown, so I was quite touched by his defense of me.

"Let's do it again!" all four kitties chanted. 

"NO! No again!" I screamed.

“Where should I drop you all off?” Han asked.

“Vanaheim,” Loki replied, and gave him the coordinates.

 

_Freya’s Hall:_

 

“In recognition of your valor and unstinting courage in rescuing my daughter I would like to reward you all with these medallions,” Freya draped lovely solid gold medallions over our heads with her symbol stamped upon them.

Han whistled. “This will be enough to pay off my debt to Jabba.”

Chewie growled agreement.

“I will take my beloved out on a date to see a play,” Boreal purred.

“I will buy some new jewels and a comfy blanket,” Astra said.

“I will go to the all you can eat lobster buffet,” Brenna stated.

“I’m going on vacation with your father,” I told them, smiling up at Loki.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked softly.

“Anywhere with you,” I murmured.

He bent to kiss me, but then we heard a throat being cleared.

Loki turned his head, annoyed. “What do you want, Freya? We’re busy.”

The goddess giggled. “I noticed. However, I would like to ask you a favor, if I may?”

The God of Mischief sighed. “Go ahead. Who do you want me to turn into a sign post? Or break out with crabs?”

I burst out laughing. “Loki! My god!”

He grinned insolently. “Got that right, darling.”

Freya rolled her eyes. “Will you please be serious for one minute?”

“Why?” Loki asked aggravatingly.

“Because I need your help!” she snapped.

“Fine. I’m listening.”

“I need you to give Eira safe haven,” she sighed. “I have too many enemies who wish her harm and I cannot protect her like you can, Loki.”

“Do you realize what you are asking?” he queried softly.

“I do. But she will be safe with you and Mythwriter on Midgard. Your home there is hidden so well even I cannot See it. Please, Loki, I beg of you—”

“Don’t. I agree. I will send you updates every week.”

“Oh thank you, Silvertongue!” she threw her arms around Loki and kissed him.

“Hey! He’s taken!” I cried, ready to pull her off my fiancé. I may be a mortal but I’m also Italian and nobody steals my man right in front of me without getting a black eye. “Get your own man, Goldilocks!”

Loki freed himself deftly. “A thank you would have been enough.” He returned to me and promptly kissed me breathless.

“Loki . . . we should tell the children,” I said when I could speak again.

“Where are they?” he asked.

I looked about.

“Holy crap!”

Boreal was eating his weight in shrimp at the buffet, his helmet sticking up from the tray.

Astra was perched on top of the four-tiered cake with Eira, happily licking the icing off it. They were singing "Rock the Casbah"

As for Brenna . . . I spotted her black ears and gold helmet peering up from a carafe of the Vanaheim version of coffee.

I groaned. Things were back to normal. Just another day in the life of Mythwriter and Her Magical Army.

"Your cats are crazy!" remarked a Vanir.

"They aren't crazy, they are mischievous," I snapped.

"You sure we can handle another one?" Loki asked.

"What's one more?" I grinned. 

"A catastrophe," Loki joked.

Suddenly the cake began to topple. 

"Help! Father!" Astra wailed.

Loki snapped out a spell and Astra and Eira fell into my arms.

"Hi!" Eira giggled.

"Eira, would you like to come home with me for awhile?" I asked smiling at her.

"For real? To live with you an' Astra an' Brenna an' Boreal an' prince Loki?" Her eyes shone like sapphire gems.

I nodded.

"Yes, yes, YES!"

"I'll have what she's having," remarked a Vanir lady, staring at me.

Loki and I exchanged glances. Then we doubled over laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
